Daily Prompt: Astral Projection/Travel

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I had heard of Astral Projection before, but had never really know exactly what it meant. And then I came across this meme in a Facebook group I am a part of. After seeing this, I realized that while I was sick back in December 2017, that the “weird dream and waking experience” I had was, in fact, astral projection.

In December, I came down with some sort of illness that the doctor diagnosed as a sinus infection and respiratory infection at the same time. I have had both, but I haven’t felt this miserable in quite some time. Before going to the doctor, I truly thought that she would diagnose me with walking pneumonia. I was beyond exhausted and could barely function. Anyone who knows me knows that I work through almost anything and it takes a lot to shut me down, and this illness shut me down. It took me 3 weeks to get better, even with antibiotics.

During the time that I was sick, there were two days that I never even made it upstairs to get changed in to my PJs and ended up sleeping in my work clothes (which I NEVER do) and slept on the couch downstairs. I kept nodding out while watching TV and I finally set my alarm for about an hour and a half later thinking that by then maybe I would have enough energy to head back upstairs. I continued to do that, reset my alarm every hour or so thinking I’d get up finally, but never did. While I was sleeping on the couch, I had what I thought was a very odd dream (and my dreams are typically odd, but this dream was odd even by my standards). I kept waking up in between this dream and would be fully conscious but felt paralyzed on the couch, my body felt so heavy as if I was pinned to the couch. It felt like when you get pins and needles in one of your limbs, but this was in my entire body. I felt very scared. In my dream, during the times I was in the dream state of this experience, I dreamt that I was at my sister in laws house and I was tethered like a blimp to the ground and was flying above her house. My family were all standing by the door or in the driveway screaming to me, but I couldn’t hear them over the loud buzzing sound that was coming from the bug like creatures that we’re swarming around me. It reminded me in a sense of the scene from the movie “Wreck it Ralph” when the cybugs at the end go in to the beacon light. But instead of a light, I was being pulled towards a vortex or portal of some sort. It was creating such an upward force on my body that my whole body was vibrating, which I also felt in my paralysis state during my conscious moments as well. I felt very afraid during my consciousness and felt as if it was a near death experience and was worried that I was really that sick to be having this type of experience in my dreams that was also carrying over in to my physical, awake state as well.

Once I saw this meme, it became very clear to me that all of this was my spiritual being separating from my physical being. I never got any further than this because I was so scared and wouldn’t let myself go and be pulled in to the vortex, which is probably what would have transported me to different realms, but the separation was happening.

I also had another similar experience a couple of weeks later, before seeing this meme that I also believe was astral projection. I was in bed that time. I had left the bedroom door slightly ajar to let my cat in if she wanted to come in. We’ve been trying to bring her in our bedroom lately and that night she didn’t stay when I brought her in. I’m used to having the door closed to the bedroom. I kept waking up and feeling the bed vibrating and kept looking at the bedroom door because I kept waking up from the vibrating of the bed. The vibrating of the bed worried me because my husband wasn’t home that night and I didn’t have the washer or dryer on which sometimes vibrate the bed. I started to feel as if there was a presence in the house and became worried that there was someone in our house. I think I astral projected again and don’t remember the process of it and I think I may have gotten through the process this time and separated and the spiritual being was in my house and I was present in my physical body and becoming scared.

I had one put ofout of body experience when I was a teenager that felt “normal” in that I just saw myself standing and watching myself sleeping, but it wasn’t accompanied by any of these other physical sensations or odd consciousness states.

Since figuring out what this is I have not been able to replicate it again. I haven’t attempted to, or trained to as I have tried to stay healthy recently and been trying to get a lot of sleep as there are a lot of illnesses going around and I ended up getting sick again for 2 more rounds after that initial bout in December. I am hoping, now that I know what it is, that once I feel confident that I am fully healthy, and not in danger of becoming ill that I will be able to create ideal circumstances again for astral projection to take place again. And this time, I won’t be afraid and I will allow myself to travel and real the benefits of it.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/astral/

Souliberation

Souliberation: The act of accepting a part of ones past that was negatively affected by another person. The act of choosing to move on by liberating ones soul from that person so that the past can no longer poison ones present and future. This act does not require forgiving that person or believing that what happened was ok. This act requires acceptance of the fact that it did happen, that it made you a stronger person because of it and that you no longer choose to be shackled by toxicity that others have spread to you. You choose to cleanse yourself of that toxicity and allow space for peace. By allowing that toxic waste to reside in you, it is you who is being poisoned and not the person who initially gave it to you. You are the one being continually hurt while they have moved on. You deserve better than that. You deserve peace. Many people call this forgiveness, but I struggle with calling this forgiveness too. Forgiveness to me is when I do believe someone is sorry for what they have done and they want to become a better person and they still deserve a place in my life. I believe these concepts need different terms. Because some acts are unforgiveable. That is why we cannot keep some people in our lives. We must liberate our souls from them. But we must also do the mental work part of it along with the physical part as well. We are not just liberating our lives from their physical presence, but we must liberate our mind and soul from their mental poison presence as well. Souliberation……my personal new term for what people have been calling forgiveness for a while, which I find a very confusing duality.

Stranger than Fiction

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The link to my brainstorming page that will be an area where I draw some of my stories and thoughts from to finish my autobiography that will be in novel and self help format. I would love to have some visitors and followers!

https://m.facebook.com/StrangerThanFictionNovel/?ref=page_internal&mt_nav=1

Cat Capers

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Spidey Cat, Spidey Cat, does whatever a Spidey Cat does…..

Weeping under the Willow Tree, my poor dysfunctional feline friend seems to find a new aliment on a regular basis. After I finally seemed to have whittled down much of her digestion issues that had her constantly regurgitating her food and crying and hissing due to allergies to foods such as tuna, shellfish and possibly mackerel, along with the huge hairballs that get caught in her underdeveloped forever kitten sized 3.5 year old body; she has now come to develop what I believe to be focal seizures. After having 2 in one week a couple of months ago, she now seems to have hyperesthesia and attacks her tail all day long, sending her on cat capers like no other ones I have ever experienced. Sure, she used to get the cat crazies and tear through the house just because, but now they are always driven by a constant obsession with her tail where she stares, swats, bites and licks at it all day. Her claws get stuck in it because she’s created scabs on it. I just got her claws clipped this weekend. Hopefully this will allow time for it to heal some. She barely.plays with her toys any more and has changed her personality altogether. In some ways it is a good thing because she isn’t as devious as she used to be, but she also is so frantic now and is anxiety ridden rather than having fun. It breaks my heart. We haven’t had the money to be able to get her to the vet yet to get all of this checked out. I have done a lot of research on the internet and am pretty certain I know this is what she has. In ways she has become more loving and actually lets us hold her where she never would before, and we don’t have to spray the air can at her all the time anymore because she doesn’t jump on counters or scratch at the carpet under our bedroom.door or at the couch anymore. But she hisses at her tail and her only relief from herself is to lay on a blanket. As soon as she starts to try to play with any toys, she sees her tail and goes after that instead. I do miss the playfulness in her because she cracked me up all the time watching her play. She was a hoot. Why does the good stuff always have to be sacrificed too just to calm down the pesky stuff and then other added pesky stuff happens in addition to that? Why can’t anything ever just be a happy medium in my life? Everything is always a production of some sort. Black and White. It is the “Great Muppet Caper” of my life starting Alice the Funk Farie Muppet front and center. Willow the Cat is my familiar. Here’s to hoping I can drum up some fundage soon and get Willow Diamond kitty kat to the vet soon and hopefully find a happy medium solution….I love her dearly….

 

viaDaily Prompt: Caper

I volunteer for a great purge

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The Great Purge

I have always felt badly that I do not participate more in volunteer work. My daughter’s school is always asking for volunteers each year and it’s often the same moms and dads. Last school year the Girl Scout cookie mom agreed to be cookie mom for 3 troops only if she could have some help with some of the aspects of it. I couldn’t let her take on all of that by herself, so I volunteered to take over the cookie booth portion for our Brownie troop. That was a lot of work.

I decided around my 20th high school reunion to finally bring to fruition an idea I had during my 10th reunion which was to create a separate band reunion since that spanned multi-classes. I originally was trying to organize it just for the 8 classes that spanned my 4 years. It ended up turning in to a huge undertaking when I contacted the alumni director at the school to ask to use the band room so we could play together as part of the reunion. In doing so, she volunteered me to make this an official reunion that included all graduating classes.

Both of these large volunteer tasks took place during a 12 month span when my life took a dive down the rabbit hole throwing me into a deep depression, something I have never experienced in my life.

They say that when life becomes too overwhelming that you should get rid of something. Alot of somethings. And so I began that process after the band reunion took place in June 2016. The Great Purge.

I knew my life needed some major life changes. Things had been going very wrong for quite some time. My life had some major paradigm shifts all at one time. Things that although I did have some control over some of those shifts, they were necessary shifts, and ones that made me very uncomfortable and brought about alot of very final realizations, things I needed to mourn and come to terms with. And so, the more I can now purge from my life that I can feel good about gaining control about in my life can hopefully only bring about positive change now.

It started with my resolve to say “no” to extra projects and volunteer things people ask of me. Even though it takes volunteers to make so many things happen and I am so thankful for and in admiration of those who can dedicate themselves to volunteer work, I am just not one of those people. I need to keep reminding myself that those who are able to volunteer all the time might not have jobs or work as much or as many as awkward hours as I do. They may not have as many battles in life to deal with mentally as I do. They may not have the lack of babysitter options that I do. Etc…I noticed how much I was failing my family, my job and myself when I took on the two large volunteer tasks, and I cannot let those things suffer.

The next things that met The Great Purge were a horrible gaming app that sucked me in and got me spending actual money, something I’ve never done before and am so ashamed that I got sucked in to doing. This game was a master at manipulating my weakened and feeble mind at the time in to spending exorbitant amounts of money that we don’t have on a silly stupid game. (That game is Yahtzee with Friends by the way….stay away…it is the devil)…Next was Facebook (that may not be permanent, but at least it is semi-permanent-been over 2 months now).

My newest epiphany is purging all animal meat from my diet. I have always struggled with the idea of eating animals. I am a complete empath in every sense of the word. My daughter plays Minecraft (incessantly-she has Aspergers and that is her “special interest” for the past year or so) and it actually bothers me when she kills them in order to get the meat in survival mode. It bothers me that this is even a thing in a game she plays, even though it is part of the circle of life, it hurts my heart. I have always struggled with my weight anyway and my eating habits, so why not try to do this all at once. My husband is trying to eat better right now, and if we are both on the same general page at the same time it will be easier to stick to. I want to try to really commit to this. With my husband having an odd work schedule where I eat 8 dinners alone for the most part before his 6 days where we will eat together, those can hopefully be easy. Today when we went out to a little farm fall event with a corn maze and such, we ate there and I was even strong there and got the vegetable stir fry and rice.

Next I need to back on track for purging from my house which needs it terribly. The meme above is by flylady.net. If you have never checked out that website, do it. I discovered it 2 years ago and it can be life changing if I wouldn’t have sunken in to my depression. She has an amazing system for getting your life organized and is like crack to someone with OCD. She is so meticulous and gives you great ideas for how to organize your day to get and keep your house clean, keep up with chores, be efficient with your time…I need to get back to her system. I have started re-laying the groundwork and hope to have it all back in place and ready to put in to full action by the start of the new year.

I am finally feeling a little better and as if I have a little bit of a plan and am making some positive changes. I might not be there yet, but I’m better than where I was just a little while ago. I have also started using this hypnosis app at night while I sleep that I think is really starting to help. I’ve been using several different module/topic ones and I am really starting to feel a shift in my consciousness. I have never tried to be hypnotized in the middle of the day, and I have always felt like I would not be able to be. But falling asleep with this on I really think is speaking to my subconscious. It is the same concept as how they say people can hear you when they are in a coma and it is beneficial for their loved ones to come and speak to them to try and bring them out of the coma. If you can be reached and affected in that state, then the repetition can hopefully override all the other negative things that I have been told throughout my life and that I now tell myself as a result of that. It certainly can’t hurt. So I will keep trying that during the times when my husband is on shift and not sleeping at home at night. I will keep you all posted later on as to whether I really feel a few months from now if the hypnosis app has really been what has helped me turn things around and made permanent changes in my life. I was never much of a believer in it before, so if it convinces me, you might want to give it a shot yourself because I was always skeptical but have been so willing these past few months to try anything I could think of to bring about change in my life.

via Daily Prompt: Volunteer