Stranger than Fiction: From Birth to Eternity in Wonderland

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I started the process of writing my book a while ago. People who’ve known me well and heard all of my life stories have told me that I needed to write a book because my stories are just so outlandish that people would think that they were made up, but they’re not. Many people, close friends even, have thought me to be a liar because of my Narcissistic adoptive Dad and how great he is at making everything seem so wonderful on the outside but no one lived with me behind closed doors. So I had no one to vouch for me. I believed I was the crazy one until 3 years ago.

But it was about 5 or so years ago that I had begun to write my book. That was before I made contact with my birth parents. And once I did, I stopped the writing process, because I knew there would be alot of changed details from what I had been told and thought to be true. And recently I decided that I wanted to pick it back up again, but I was blocked as to how to restart the process. I was originally planning on a novel that was written in a fiction style but that was generally autobiographical, with names and such changed. But how to link together all the main events that I wanted to touch on and make smooth transitions with was the challenge.

And then, by a miraculous stroke of insight, the idea for a complete change of format, something completely unique came to me.

Once I found out my birth name, Mary Alice, I began feeling a kinship to that name through the name Alice in particular and seeing parallels of my life to the tale of Alice in Wonderland, as you have all seen through the theme of my page. Each character in the Alice in Wonderland story easily represents someone in my.real life story and many of the allegories that have been made about the Alice tale are quite fitting as well to my journey as well.

The way I am now writing my book is a very unique format, one that has not quite been done before. And that could be a good or a bad thing. But it will definitely catch attention either way. And it won’t be the same ole same ole. I am hoping that it will be something that would be so fresh that publishers would want to run with it.

I am sort of telling my autobiography still, but I am telling it through the Alice characters now. But the Alice characters will represent who they represent in my life, which also means some gender changes for the well known characters. I am telling the tale in snippet like sections and interspersing it with my own pre-written quotes that sort of summarize the philosophies and things to be learned from each section of the stories. I am going to do my own drawings of the revised characters and use my own artwork. The Alice (young and innocent Alice-there might be morphing Alice pictures through the decades) character at the top is just a play with an avatar making app to get some ideas before I start sketching them out.

There are several other components that will make it unique, but I am hoping that it will be a cool mixture of using a whimsical fairytale as a catharsis to tell a droll tale of my life in order to help others see perspectives on things they wouldn’t have otherwise seen, or to help people who are going through or will go through situations similar to mine with my appropriately timed inspirational and anecdotal quotes interspersed throughout the retold fairytale. And retold fairy tales are all the rage these days among adults as well. So, I am really hoping that this will be a smash hit. It is writing itself so easily. As soon as I got this idea, I already wrote through my birth and adoption and am starting my first decade of life. I am super pumped.

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The White Rabbit-who is female because the White Rabbit is my birth mom….

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/miraculous/

 

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Pedigrees

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“Don’t be afraid to lose what was never meant to be……things will never change, till you want them to.” -Matthew and Gunnar Nelson

I’m a total geek. I know. I still love this band. Even back in the day when they were mega popular, they still got ragged on hardcore. When I met my husband, he was calling them Woody and Boner. Still does. Probably hates them more now knowing how much I like them. Though I don’t even think he knows how much of a fan I am. I keep it more downlow with him because I hate hearing him make fun of them. Especially since I met them back in 2010 and found out exactly how amazingly nice they are. The day I met them was literally a dream coming true. I had a dream when I was 13 that I met them at an outdoor concert and was hanging out with them after the concert. When I went to the M3 Concert in 2010, which is a Festival type concert with a ton of bands, I had no clue I’d get to meet them in person. In fact, they had VIP passes that they sold for that festival that you had to purchase in order to meet the bands, but Nelson broke that rule and met everyone anyway, because that’s who they are. They even say it at their shows, that they aren’t just in the music business, they are in the connection business, because they love to meet their fans that much.

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I’ve posted this picture on some of my other blog posts too, but this whole article now is about them. This picture above was when I met them in 2010. Unfortunately the picture turned out blurry. The one on the left is Matthew and the one on the right is Gunnar, for anyone who actually cares. They actually took alot of time that day to talk to me. I was in celeb heaven so I don’t fully remember everything, but I know they actually talked to me more than I expected that day. I also bought a CD for them to sign.

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For anyone who doesn’t know who they are…..they are from a pedigree family. Their grandparents are Ozzie and Harriet’s who had a sitcom when tv was first invented. Their son and the twins dad was Ricky Nelson, who grew up acting on the Ozzie and Harriet Show and then broke in to the Music Business at 16 after singing on the show. Ozzie also had a Big Band as well, so he was also musical. Then Ricky married Kristin Harmon and had the twins who became a popular hair band right at the end of the hair band era with #1 billboard hits of “Love and Affection”, “After the Rain” and “Only Time will Tell”. They are in the Guiness Book of World Records as being the only 3 consecutive generational family to have #1 top hits on the billboard charts. Not only is that their heritage, but their sister is Tracey Nelson who has been on Broadway and was in the Father Dowling Mysteries TV Show, their Uncle (their mother’s brother) is Mark Harmon’s from NCIS and the movie Summer School and their Grandfather on their mothers side is Tom Harmon who was a football player and a Heismann Trophy recipient. They are from a top pedigree family alright. Talk about some genetic line there…..

So, after 8 years, I finally got the opportunity to get a new and clear picture with them last Thursday…..😁🤘

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This time they are in the reverse order, Gunnar on the left and Matthew on the right. This time I went to their Ricky Nelson Remembered Show where they put on a multi-media experience tribute show to their dad and play their dads songs (and a couple of their own). That was where I got my old piano sheet music signed by them which is the first picture at the top of the page. I brought all three of their top hits songs that I still had the sheet music of from back when I was younger and got them to sign it for me.

One of the coolest things happened today though. I had posted this picture of me with them on Twitter last week and they retweeted it (and it has been my most popular tweet ever, more retweets and likes than anything I’ve ever tweeted before!). And then today (though I think it was yesterday and I only saw it today), they actually FOLLOWED me on Twitter.

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This is so cool to me because they only follow the blue checked marked people, as in famous celebs/pages/accounts. And they followed little ole me. Now, I will admit that I’ve been told it is their management team that handles their social media accounts….however, even still, I don’t know if that means they’re never on it, but even if it’s just their management who followed me, someone from their team took notice of me and followed my Twitter account. It might sound incredibly shallow, and normally I am not some crazed fan girl, but they make me giddy. Must be the teenager thing because I liked them when I was 13 and it takes me back to being a teenager again. It made me feel special today. It made me feel noticed, and I don’t feel that very often. And certainly not by anyone associated with a band I literally dreamed about and hung posters on my wall of when I was 13.  Go me….Manifesting my dreams…The sky is the limit!!!!

My song of the day: Autograph by Nelson

Can’t get any more apropos to this blog post than this song!!!

I think I’ve seen every film you’ve been in
First in line for your magazine
On my bedroom wall you’re staring back at me?

I blew my trust fund, to get to know you
I write you letters and you don’t write back,
but that’s ok~I’ll always love you anyway

I just want your autograph(your autograph)
a sign, I met you in the past(touched your hand)
There’s nothing I won’t do,
So what I gotta give to get an autograph from you?

Autograph
Autograph
Instrumental

I’m Number one on your fan club roster,
You’re number one on the Billboard charts
I don’t think I’ve made to your speed dial yet,
but~ it’s a start.

I think you think we got a lot in common
We’re both in love with you and that’s a fact
Till you cry on my shoulder
I need a little piece of you to tide me over

I just want your autograph(your autograph)
Some Proof I had the Balls to ask (took the chance)

Face Time and One Line,
There’s nothing I won’t do~
to get a Autograph from you?

Autograph
Autograph

Instrumental

I hope this doesn’t come across as scary,
I hope it’s you when I lose my cherry
Crazy maybe
Fate has had Stranger things have happen.

I just want your autograph
Just maybe, you’ll see me on the fair,
Face time, One Love,
There’s nothing that I won’t do
For an autograph from you.

Yeah
Autograph
Autograph

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pedigree/

If you’ve got it, flaunt it?

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As I have revealed in many of my past writings, I have self esteem issues. Due to my lack of self love (from the lack of proper love in childhood formative years), an early substitution of sweet taste when I am irritable due to the need for physical affection and not receiving it and it’s subsequent translation to emotional eating and weight issues, my feelings of “never good enough” and second best/choice…I have always struggled to look in the mirror and believe that I am beautiful and sexy and feel secure enough in my self to not be intimidated by the world as it is.

With the amount of women who flaunt what they’ve got, and the men who ogle at all of the perfect photoshopped celebrities and porn stars out there, and even the real women out there who have the money or the time to dedicate their lives to organic eating and gym obsessions or the luck of skinny gene’s, I don’t stand a chance to feel wantable. I always feel like there’s always someone better to crave, always someone to skinnier and sexier to lust after than me. The ease of obtaining images to turn someone on and the fantasies that can be spun that are more than some women are able to live up to, and it causes some of us feel inferior our entire lives to a standard we are and never will be able to measure up to. Even just watching R rated movies often exposes women’s bodies and makes me self conscious of my own. Victoria’s secret commercials, TV shows with barely there bikinis. I constantly retreat in to myself, and the more bodies I see exposed, the more I want to cover myself up. The more they flaunt, the less I do.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/flaunt/

My song of the day: Photograph by Def Leppard

Frothy mouth

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A little layer of froth forms

At the corners of my mouth

As I lie with phone in hand

Mind and soul adrift

To the dreamscapes behind my eyes

Sleep has alluded me for days

No more able to put to pen

Than but this for tonight.

Fields of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby’s await me.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/froth/

 

My song of the day: Appropos of this one to have come on my playlist today..

Imaginary
By:Evanescence

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they’re falling tell a story

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Don’t say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos, your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

R-U-S2uPid Happy?

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The title actually reads: Are you Stupid happy? Just in case you didn’t get that. It’s a pun on R2D2….Because I’m stupid happy in this picture here when I met R2D2 in person. That is one serious smile right there. I know it’s just a robot. But it was so beyond cool. I am a Star Wars fan. I only started liking Star Wars in college when an ex boyfriend, a psychologically abusive one at that, made me go watch, for the first time, the original trilogy when they were re-released. But my love for R2D2 started long before that. I watched Sesame Street when I was little. And they always had guest stars on. And the original run of Star Wars came out around the time I was little and watching Sesame Street, so R2 and C3PO were always on. And I loved R2 from moment I saw him on the screen. I don’t know what it was.

I have him on my keychain

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I used to have him as my device charger in the car, but it stopped working properly 😪 It would bleep and blurp every time I turned the car on.

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I even have the Lego version of him that was my own set! He is out most of the year.

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So when he was there at Lego Fest that I took my daughter to last year I seriously had a cow. He was there with all the bleeps and blurps and then some, real life sized. Here is the video from it….the camera shaking is me jumping up and down like a little freaking kid because I’m so happy. And thats me towards the end calling out “I love you R2″….It’s really ridiculous how happy I got over this….

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/smile/

Talisman

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I have ritualistic jewelry that I wear for my performances, a sort of talisman. It originally started with just my pearl and diamond earrings that were my grandmother’s that we had converted from clip on in to pierced after she passed away. I have worn those since I was in college. Since then, I have added other diamond like dangle earrings, black pearl drop earrings and my dragon cuff earring who whispers in my ear as I play my melodies. He breathes the life force spirit in to me and I breathe out the music spirit. There have also been specific rings, necklaces and bracelets added as well over time. It may seem silly, but it has just come to be a grounding technique for me as I perform.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/talisman/