Enigmatic Amaryllis

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I am hoping to get back on the proverbial horse and start posting regularly again. I have slowly been adding good habits back in to my life one at a time. So today marks the impetus of the next chapter towards my spirits salvation.

The last post I made was days before attending the Shinedown concert. Above is a picture from said concert during one of my favorite songs by them. I got to be that close to their extended stage, and they performed that favorite song of mine while on that portion of the stage. The graphics in the back are of stained glass windows, which is a perfect segue to the next portion of this post. But before that transition, I am going to make today’s post a two

Song of the Day post

Amaryllis

By: Shinedown
In a while now
I will feel better
Ill face the weather before me
In a while now ill race the irony
And buy back each word of my eulogy

All the uninvited tragedies
Step outside

Ask yourself now
Where would you be without
Days like this
When you finally collide
With the moments you cant forget

So do I remind you of
Someone you never met
A lonely sillouette
And do I remind you of
Somewhere you wanna be
So far out of reach
Oh I wish youd open up for me
‘Cause I wanna know you
Amaryllis
Bloom

Stay a while now
Undress your colors
‘Cause there like no other
Ive ever seen
I could get used to your company
Step inside

Ask yourself now
Where would you be without
Days like this
When you finally collide
With the moment you cant resist

So do I remind you of
Someone you never met
A lonely sillouette
And do I remind you of
Somewhere you wanna be
So far out of reach
Oh I wish youd open up for me
‘Cause I wanna know you
Amaryllis

In a while now
I will feel better
I will be better

So do I remind you of
Someone you never met
A lonely sillouette
And do I remind you of
Somewhere you wanna be
So far out of reach
Oh I wish youd open up for me
‘Cause I wanna know you
Amaryllis
Bloom
Amaryllis
Bloom
Amaryllis

In many of my posts I speak of my Great Depression, or my Dark Night of the Soul that began in 2015. The first thing to begin pulling me out of that and helping me gain some true clarity about my life was my “Tea Time” or my “Spirit Space”. It is truly an enigma to me how much power this ceremonial ritual can hold over me and how much it has shaped my recent path and journey. I’m not sure if I have posted on this before at all, but I know I haven’t probably posted about it in much depth. I began developing my own personalized ritual ceremony back in December of 2017 and it has been continuing to evolve and grow ever since.

I have had my share of set backs with it. I am never able to be consistent with it due to my ridiculous schedule, especially during a school year, so I am not faithful to it daily. But in the past month I have done better than I ever have since it’s inception. It began with a suggestion from my friend to develop one ritual habit, perhaps of a cup of tea to myself at say 10 pm. I had been contemplating going back to my nightly tea and sweets and adding an element of spiritualistic ritual to it at that point. I was desperate to find answers and needed guidance. I vowed to not allow my 40s be like my 30s were, and December 2017 marked my 40th birthday.

My ceremony doesn’t follow any prescribed format, though it is derived from some of the basics of a pagan altar and Wiccan tenets, but I have much of my own flair involved including some Christian based traditions, journaling, work with crystals, journaling, tea, music, candle “magic”, chakra balancing, god and goddess devotions, spirit animal devotions, daily intentions, manifesting, simple spells, cleansing, aromatherapy, sigils, divination with Oracle cards and pendulum, and other personal touches.

I am just now starting to experiment with and learn about crystal grids. I am still quite the novice and have MUCH to learn. The pictures above are the first two I have experimented with. I have a lot of research to do in this area. I am fascinated by this subset and am excited to learn more. It is quite involved and very intricate when learning to do it right and with correctly set intention and meaning. The two I created here are mainly just on intuition and not through much knowledge.

These Oracle cards are readings I got from the other night which are quite accurate when I asked for what we’re the most important things I needed to know right now in my current path and journey. I used two different decks. The top picture is the deck I am most comfortable with where I did a past, present and future reading and the bottom picture is my newest deck that I only pulled one card to help me familiarize myself more with the deck.

This candle is a Yin and Yang candle I got at an Illuminate Crystal Fest. The very first time I lit it, the two crystals moved together within the first half hour and snuffed the wick out and wouldnt allow me to relight it. I began an email thread with the candle maker to see if I could return it and have her send me a new one. During this thread, it was very enlightening for many reasons. That dialogue and the contemplation of what it all meant also caused me to post about it in a group on FB asking others takes on the higher meaning of it. Some of the things I learned from this experience are….The crystals were probably drawn to each other and wanted to be closer together. Even though they are supposed to represent opposite polarities, they are drawn together. Upon reflecting that I needed to treat my polarities as more of an integration rather than a separation, I came to an epiphany regarding how I see it represented in my favorite colors (also representative of my dual identities from my opposite birth parents, also resulting in alot of inner conflict and turmoil). I have said for a long time that my favorite colors are black (my birth dad) and rainbow (my birth mom). This also is very representative of my moods and attitudes. But when I thought of this as an integration, what is black but all of the colors of the rainbow at once rather than as a separation of them. Black encompasses all colors, it is all colors.

Since getting back to my spirit Space more vehemently, it has been unfathomable how much strength I have found inside of myself and how much wisdom I feel intuitively about my path. Even if I am walking it slowly, I feel an inner confidence like never before that I know the path and am walking the path. It just might take me a little while longer to walk it after having 41 years worth of muck to shake off and swampland to trek through. But I am getting there.

Other song of the day:

Return to Innocence

By: Enigma

That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

Love
Devotion
Feeling
Emotion

Love
Devotion
Feeling
Emotion

Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny.

Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence.

Don’t care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Don’t give up, don’t give up
To return, to return to innocence.

If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny.

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/07/28/your-daily-word-prompt-unfathomable-july-28-2019/

Suffocate to freedom

Another day,

Another dollar,

Another dish,

Another holler.

 

Is this to what I’ve been reduced?

 

Where are the floodlit stages,

The music filled pages,

The circumstance and pomp,

The willowing womp?

 

For it is mine that takes a

back seat,

lack street.

Just because it doesn’t earn as much

cash flow,

roll in dough.

 

But at least with mine I

stretch it out,

fetch it out.

With yours, you only

hide it,

snide it.

 

I’m sick of all the

secrets, lies,

vices, ties.

 

It makes me cringe,

come unhinged.

 

Once I learn to free myself,

I can be myself.

I will suffocate no more.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/cringe/

Pedigrees

“Don’t be afraid to lose what was never meant to be……things will never change, till you want them to.” -Matthew and Gunnar Nelson

I’m a total geek. I know. I still love this band. Even back in the day when they were mega popular, they still got ragged on hardcore. When I met my husband, he was calling them Woody and Boner. Still does. Probably hates them more now knowing how much I like them. Though I don’t even think he knows how much of a fan I am. I keep it more downlow with him because I hate hearing him make fun of them. Especially since I met them back in 2010 and found out exactly how amazingly nice they are. The day I met them was literally a dream coming true. I had a dream when I was 13 that I met them at an outdoor concert and was hanging out with them after the concert. When I went to the M3 Concert in 2010, which is a Festival type concert with a ton of bands, I had no clue I’d get to meet them in person. In fact, they had VIP passes that they sold for that festival that you had to purchase in order to meet the bands, but Nelson broke that rule and met everyone anyway, because that’s who they are. They even say it at their shows, that they aren’t just in the music business, they are in the connection business, because they love to meet their fans that much.

I’ve posted this picture on some of my other blog posts too, but this whole article now is about them. This picture above was when I met them in 2010. Unfortunately the picture turned out blurry. The one on the left is Matthew and the one on the right is Gunnar, for anyone who actually cares. They actually took alot of time that day to talk to me. I was in celeb heaven so I don’t fully remember everything, but I know they actually talked to me more than I expected that day. I also bought a CD for them to sign.

For anyone who doesn’t know who they are…..they are from a pedigree family. Their grandparents are Ozzie and Harriet’s who had a sitcom when tv was first invented. Their son and the twins dad was Ricky Nelson, who grew up acting on the Ozzie and Harriet Show and then broke in to the Music Business at 16 after singing on the show. Ozzie also had a Big Band as well, so he was also musical. Then Ricky married Kristin Harmon and had the twins who became a popular hair band right at the end of the hair band era with #1 billboard hits of “Love and Affection”, “After the Rain” and “Only Time will Tell”. They are in the Guiness Book of World Records as being the only 3 consecutive generational family to have #1 top hits on the billboard charts. Not only is that their heritage, but their sister is Tracey Nelson who has been on Broadway and was in the Father Dowling Mysteries TV Show, their Uncle (their mother’s brother) is Mark Harmon’s from NCIS and the movie Summer School and their Grandfather on their mothers side is Tom Harmon who was a football player and a Heismann Trophy recipient. They are from a top pedigree family alright. Talk about some genetic line there…..

So, after 8 years, I finally got the opportunity to get a new and clear picture with them last Thursday…..😁🤘

This time they are in the reverse order, Gunnar on the left and Matthew on the right. This time I went to their Ricky Nelson Remembered Show where they put on a multi-media experience tribute show to their dad and play their dads songs (and a couple of their own). That was where I got my old piano sheet music signed by them which is the first picture at the top of the page. I brought all three of their top hits songs that I still had the sheet music of from back when I was younger and got them to sign it for me.

One of the coolest things happened today though. I had posted this picture of me with them on Twitter last week and they retweeted it (and it has been my most popular tweet ever, more retweets and likes than anything I’ve ever tweeted before!). And then today (though I think it was yesterday and I only saw it today), they actually FOLLOWED me on Twitter.

This is so cool to me because they only follow the blue checked marked people, as in famous celebs/pages/accounts. And they followed little ole me. Now, I will admit that I’ve been told it is their management team that handles their social media accounts….however, even still, I don’t know if that means they’re never on it, but even if it’s just their management who followed me, someone from their team took notice of me and followed my Twitter account. It might sound incredibly shallow, and normally I am not some crazed fan girl, but they make me giddy. Must be the teenager thing because I liked them when I was 13 and it takes me back to being a teenager again. It made me feel special today. It made me feel noticed, and I don’t feel that very often. And certainly not by anyone associated with a band I literally dreamed about and hung posters on my wall of when I was 13.  Go me….Manifesting my dreams…The sky is the limit!!!!

My song of the day: Autograph by Nelson

Can’t get any more apropos to this blog post than this song!!!

I think I’ve seen every film you’ve been in
First in line for your magazine
On my bedroom wall you’re staring back at me?

I blew my trust fund, to get to know you
I write you letters and you don’t write back,
but that’s ok~I’ll always love you anyway

I just want your autograph(your autograph)
a sign, I met you in the past(touched your hand)
There’s nothing I won’t do,
So what I gotta give to get an autograph from you?

Autograph
Autograph
Instrumental

I’m Number one on your fan club roster,
You’re number one on the Billboard charts
I don’t think I’ve made to your speed dial yet,
but~ it’s a start.

I think you think we got a lot in common
We’re both in love with you and that’s a fact
Till you cry on my shoulder
I need a little piece of you to tide me over

I just want your autograph(your autograph)
Some Proof I had the Balls to ask (took the chance)

Face Time and One Line,
There’s nothing I won’t do~
to get a Autograph from you?

Autograph
Autograph

Instrumental

I hope this doesn’t come across as scary,
I hope it’s you when I lose my cherry
Crazy maybe
Fate has had Stranger things have happen.

I just want your autograph
Just maybe, you’ll see me on the fair,
Face time, One Love,
There’s nothing that I won’t do
For an autograph from you.

Yeah
Autograph
Autograph

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pedigree/