If there is no question…

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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

A very common philosophy problem/argument. If no one is aware that the tree has made the sound, does the sound in fact occur? Some have answered the question stating that it would not make a sound. Their reasoning for this is that sound is something that only occurs in a human ear when something (air or object) is set in motion. Therefore, if no one is in the vicinity to observe with an ear, to input the motion of the tree, the the tree would not in fact make a sound.

However, the tree will make a noise (which is a hearable noise), even if no one is around to hear it. The noise would be hearable IF someone was around to hear it.

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Sometimes we, as a human nature characteristic, become frantic when we get caught up in our desperation to solve our problems when everything seems to be going wrong. We start trying to fix every single thing and begin trying to change everything in our midst. We respond with frustration and anger and turn everything in to a huge philosophical problem that, like the tree making a sound question, we go around and around with and see no end or solution. Sometimes, we need to stop asking the questions, and stop trying to fix everything and work towards acceptance. If we constantly focus on all things negative in our lives, that is what we will continue to dwell on. In doing this, a negative cyclical pattern emerges.

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Conversely, pondering the first meme posted on this writing….Sometimes, when you simply surrender, and quiet yourself, answers will appear. Even when you have not asked a specific question, or if you have asked a very generalized question a very long time ago and stopped searching for the answers, often times something will come along in your life and you will not even realize that was the key or one of the components that was missing. That was one of the turning points when it wasn’t ever something on your radar when you had tried so very hard to change everything that you thought was plaguing you.

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Or when you’re Sheldon Cooper from the “Big Bang Theory” and your formulas or theories “just won’t coalesce”. Sometimes after pounding formulas or thought processes from the approach you think it should logically come from for what seems like forever, when you’re on the brink of giving up, maybe you have given up, and suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, the answer itself, or the method for solving the problem comes to you.

My music research project illuminated a problem with an answer to a question I was never even asking in the first place. I saw the answer first which made me ask the question next.

If there is no question, or if you are not asking the right question, is there an answer? What is the answer called if the answer came before the question? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? All of the problems and solutions the thinkers of the world grapple with frantically, until they decide not to.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/frantic/

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You are perfect to me

 

 

 

For my daughter….who I wrote about tonight for my daily prompts blog post. She is someone who always thinks she’s less than perfect. This song came on my playlist this morning as I was taking her to school. If she could have only internalized and believed these lyrics about herself to have helped her with tonight’s situation at the restaurant…..And heck, I still need to internalize these lyrics myself. I’m still working on chasing down all my own demons…

Gender Bender

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Sometimes, the situations in which I find myself in my little microcosmic world are quite reflective of the current events and social climate of the concurrent macrocosmic world. I found myself in one of those situations tonight during my anniversary dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

My daughter who is 10 years old has Asperger’s Autism. It is very common for children with this Disorder to have gender identity issues. Boys often are more gentle in nature due to their issues with coordination, so sports are not something that interest them. They often don’t understand the jokes that are being made when other boys are poking fun at them, which often makes them come across like a “sissy” to the other boys who are used to teasing each other and fighting back. It is often how boys play, by roughhousing with their bodies and their words. Boys with Asperger’s then find themselves relating more with the female gender who are much milder in manner.

Girls with Asperger’s, on the other, are not usually interested in dolls and dress up in the same way that the other girls their age are. They tend to gravitate towards the more boyish toys and games like cars, star wars, pokemon and Minecraft. They find these games and toys far more interesting. They are also easily annoyed by their hair. They typically like to keep it long and all one length so they can put it in a ponytail all the time, or they want to cut it short like a boy. Low maintenance is the key with the girls. They don’t like the feel of girl clothing due to their tactile sensitivities.

I knew my daughter had gender identity issues before I even knew she had Asperger’s. She began showing signs of this from the time she was 4 and would talk about how she wished she was a boy. Now, at 10, she wears almoat all boys clothing and she has cut her hair so short that it spikes up. Aost everyone thinks she is a boy.

People continuously call her a boy in my presence. I just ignore it, unless it needs to be corrected for a purpose, such as boarding a flight so that when they see her name that they don’t try to tell me that the name doesn’t match the child I am with. My daughter gets embarrassed very easily. She doesn’t mind being called a boy, but she hasn’t necessarily told us she wants to be addressed as one, or told us she wants us to call her our son or anything. But she doesn’t like us pointing it out to people that they were wrong. That is what embarrasses her. She’s in a weird sort of limbo right now and it is very hard for her.

She loves her short hair and has honestly felt better about herself and more comfortable in her own skin since she cut it. She doesnt have many friends at school, and never has. And that upsets her, but she has said that this year, on the whole, has been her best year yet, and she seems to attribute it to the fact that she cut her hair I think. And I don’t think it’s because the kids treat her any differently. I think it’s because she sees herself differently and feels better about herself. She feels more congruent.

However, one of the biggest issues she seems to run in to is with the bathroom. She is highly uncomfortable going to the bathroom in public. In school, she has had kids give her looks and say stuff to her about why she is going in the girls bathroom. In public restrooms people give her looks and she is now asking me to come with her again all the time, even though we had just started loosening the reigns and letting her go herself. Enter world of judgment…..

Tonight when my husband and I went out for our anniversary, we took her with us for dinner to the Cheesecake Factory. We had already had our alone date on Friday, so we were just celebrating a little on the day of with a dinner and brought her with us because we don’t have many sitter options, so getting out alone is a commodity for us. While we were there, she needed to go to the bathroom and asked me to go with her. Right as we were about to leave, I held the door open and fro. The outside, you could apparently see her and not me, and an older man begins to walk in to the ladies room. And he had a confused look on his face. When he saw me, I pointed to the door across the way and said the men’s room is over there. He said, oh ok, I was confused because I saw him (and pointed to my daughter a bit condescendingly-as if she shouldn’t be in there (as a boy) at that age). Needless to say, my daughter was highly embarrassed by this encounter.

As it is, my daughter already has a ton of things to struggle with every day. I really wish people would think before they speak or give condescending glances sometimes. And of course, that’s in addition to all of those who think having gender identity issues is some mark of Satan to begin with. I did not push a gender roles on my daughter. If anything, I pushed femininity on her. She still has a princess bedroom (that she despises). A 4 year old who knows nothing about the word transgender doesn’t chose this difficult life just to be trendy. My daughter is the furthest thing from trendy. She truly feels like she is trapped inside the wrong body. This has already lasted more than half of her young life. It is not a phase she is going through. She is not going to outgrow this. She moves closer and closer to dispelling all girlish things from.her life with every passing year. This year she has asked for a new Easter basket because the one she has from infancy is pink and frilly. Even things that hardly any one but the family sees, she wants to be boyish.

Transgender issues are such a hot button topic right now in the macrocosmos of society, and my little microcosmic world is playing out many details of the struggle right before my eyes. And the struggle is heartbreaking. Especially when it is your own child. And especially when that child has a plethora of other issues to handle on a daily basis as well. Please world, show some compassion. If there is any question in your mind and a child possibly looks androgynous, use a generic “sweetheart” or “buddy” or “kiddo” to address them just to be on the safe side, something that could possibly go either way. And pretty please, for the love of all that is good on this Earth…don’t give a kid or a person a weird look if you think they’re going on the wrong bathroom. They should know where they’re going and are probably right. How do you know anyway if that child isn’t a little girl who is just growing her hair back after chemo treatments???

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/micro/

My newest anthem

Shake It Out
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
Our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it’s always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out,
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out,
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
‘Cause I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
‘Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
I tried to dance with the devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a final mess but it’s left me so empty
It’s always darkest before the dawn
(Oh whoa, oh whoa)
And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark and right at my throat
‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me
Shake it out, shake it out,
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out,
Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
I just heard this song for the first time tonight on an episode of 911 and I shazaamed it (one of the greatest apps). I liked it because of the sound of the music, I couldn’t really hear many of the lyrics as it was mainly background music other than the chorus which isn’t the lyrically potent section. Once I got the name of the song, I googled the lyrics and really related to the lyrics and they are extremely relatable to my life right now. It is exactly what I need as my “I am woman, hear me roar” anthem and the “I will prevail, I will overcome” anthem. And I love the video as well. Oftentimes, I love songs and then am disappointed by the videos. The videos are often not in any way how I would have envisioned them, were I the one to create a video for those specific songs. This particular video was beautifully put together and I think captures some of the meaning of the lyrics quite succinctly.

Sometimes darkness, can show you the light

The Light
Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It’s not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began
Deep inside your memory
Turned away as you struggled to find it
You heard the call as you walked away
A voice of calm from within the silence
And for what seemed an eternity
You’re waiting, hoping it would call out again
You heard the shadow reckoning
Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded
You held your guard as you walked away
When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
An unforgivable tragedy
The answer isn’t’ where you think you’d find it
Prepare yourself for the reckoning
For when your world seems to crumble again
Don’t be afraid, don’t turn away
You’re the one who can redefine it
Don’t let hope become a memory
Let the shadow permeate your mind and
Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away
So that the door can be opened again
Within your darkest memories
Lies the answer if you dare to find it
Don’t let hope become a memory
When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light, beautiful
Sickening, weakening
Don’t let another somber pariah consume your soul
You need strengthening, toughening
It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you
Ignite the fire within you
When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
Don’t ignore, listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness
Can show you the light
I absolutely LOVE this song and this video. It is so inspiring and such an anthem for me to find my strength within my darkness. Dark matter and black holes are only a portion of the vastness of the expansiveness of space. I am not only the sum of what I have experienced in life. I am much larger and much longer than that.

Restaurant Catering

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From the time I was pretty young, it always bubbled underneath the surface. Eating meat felt inherently wrong to me. If I stopped to think about it, I quickly fell down the rabbit hole. While I’m on the topic of rabbits, it was even so apparent that anything that looked like an animal would get under my skin. I used to save alot of my chocolate bunnies at Easter time because I just couldn’t eat them because it made me think of eating animals in some strange way (even though I intellectually knew it was just chocolate), but because they had faces on them, and I knew I couldn’t control eating meat at that point in my life, it seemed like something I could have some control over in some ridiculous way in the mind of a warped 8 year olds mind.

About a year and a half ago, I decided to finally try being a vegetarian to lessen some of the guilt I felt in my life (guilt is a real issue for me). I made it several months without eating any meat at all. But there were certain situations that made it very hard. And because of those situations, I have modified my diet in to what I call (thanks to a former student of mine for coining or passing along this term) a Flexetarian. I eat animal meat on certain occasions but try to refrain when I am just at home on a day to day regular basis. I eat meat on special holidays that involve traditional meals such as Thanksgiving. I eat meat when I am at other people’s houses so that I don’t have to imposition anyone, or make anyone feel uncomfortable due to my own decisions in life. My husband also is more of the chef in the family and he enjoyed making specific meals and was very disappointed when I chose to become a Vegetarian because it would mean missing out on sharing those meals with me, and I didn’t like seeing him disappointed or feeling as though we were losing something we enjoyed doing together (including going out to eat and often sharing meals etc…)

Which brings me to my last reason for modifying. I am a picky eater. And it was often hard to find things at restaurants that I could eat or modify or that would be satisfying beyond a side garden salad. I really feel that restaurants need to implement a couple of different universal standards in their menus. There are certain groups that I think they should have options available for as the numbers within these groups increase. I think there should be some options that are peanut free, as this is a life threatening allergy that has increased exponentially. There should be options that are gluten free. There should be options that are vegetarian and/or vegan. And I think for those 3 categories that the options should be meals that are fairly base standards that could please a good majority of people or could be added to should others want extra flavor, like a build your own pasta type options.

And then I think for kids menus there should be certain standards in every single restaurant. I was honestly ASTOUNDED when we went to the Be Our Guest restaurant in Disney World, a place that caters to children, and even though they are looking to have a hoity toity ambience, their selections on the children’s menu were all abominable for a child who is a picky eater. And my child is a picky eater, not because I’m a bad mom and wouldn’t refuse to be a short order cook and gave in to her and didn’t force her to have what we were having, but because she has Asperger’s Autism, and textures bother her and smells bother her. She’s even picky about types of pizza. There’s only about 2 places she’ll eat pizza from. It’s not because she’s a spoiled brat. She’s very sensitive. I think every restaurant should have the following on children’s menus: (and no, these are not all things my kid eats, but things I think would cover almost all bases)

Hamburger/Cheeseburger, Chicken Nuggets, Hot Dog, Mac and Cheese, Grilled Cheese, Pizza Slice (Cheese or Pepperoni), Spaghetti (with option of meatballs or meatsauce or just sauce).

Forgive me if I am forgetting another large category of “special eaters” out there. That isn’t my intention. I hope that I do not come across sounding like a Veruca Salt spoiled brat that feels like the world needs to bend it’s ways to everyone. I just feel that these groups of people have either health issues or a world philosophical reason that is worth having a standard menu that can be counted on being at any restaurant they visit, and then hopefully more available within that restaurants particular cuisine as well for each subsection. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, but then again, I’m not in the restaurant business. And maybe I am a stuck up food snob that is perpetuating some of the rigidity that is rampant in the world today. But my parents were the type that made me sit at the dinner table till I finished everything on my plate and made me eat everything they ate (the only thing they spared me was the liver-thank God). But, everything my parents made me try as a kid that I didn’t like back then, I still don’t like as an adult. The only exceptions to that are that I like some of those things of they are prepared differently than how my mother cooked and prepared them (ie: caramelized onions (which I now like) vs. onions just thrown in every dish raw and cooked in the meal- or raw onions in my tuna fish sandwiches-which I despised). So, that method didn’t do anything for me. I liked what I liked…Period.

 

Rainy Day-Foto Challenge

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Rainy Day and Rainbow. Today’s foto challenge from Cee is rain and rainbow and my 10 year old daughter just HAPPENED to have already drawn and colored this picture earlier tonight, which encapsulates both. She chose the rainy day subject because she got out of school early today due to the freezing rain, and she will now be off of school tomorrow as well due to the wintry mix/snow storm headed our way. And she just takes after her mom who loves to draw and color 🌈 rainbows (even though we don’t have a valance on the window she was drawing, that was purely her imagination.

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge