Checkmate

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I have always had an obsession with chess and chess boards. I only played my first chess game a few years ago. I don’t play that often. My husband was the first to teach me the general rules and to play a few games with me. I looked up more of the rules online and have played some of the computerized games of chess. I’m not very good. But I feel like I should be. I have the intelligence to be good at it. But my ADHD (which is a lot worse than I or a lot of people think it is) causes me to not think moves through very well unless I take a very long time to think one move through for a very long period of time because I have to really think through all of the potential moves that could lie ahead. And then my anxiety takes over because of the amount of time that it takes me per move and I end up often making boneheaded moves. And so my potential skills at chess are thwarted by my disorders. I am medicated for both. But it is so frustrating when I know it could and should be something I could be good at it.

I just taught my 10 year old daughter how to play, who had Asperger’s and is a flat out genius, and she beat me on her third game…ever! And it’s not just a matter of me not being good, she has the brain for this game and I hope she can get past her sore loser syndrome and learn some perseverence and persistence because she is already able to mentally predict the moves she should make based on what moves she predicts her opponent to make. She fascinates me by how advanced her brain is at such a young age. She is utterly amazing. I would love to see her make something of this.

I just emailed my doctor in the hopes that my ADHD medication dosage can be increased. I just resumed my medication for it this month as I hadn’t been taking it for several years. I hope that a higher dosage will help my concentration in all areas of my life, including chess.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/thwart/

Author: Alice Funk Farie

Ecclectic Eccentric, Adoptee, Mom of a child with Aspergers Autism, Complex-PTSD from childhood trauma, Daughter of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Dependant Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression Warrior, Empath, Indigo Child, Musician, Educator, Wife of a Sociopathic Addict, Stepmom, Martial Artist, Artist, Philosophizer, Quote Collector, Survivor

5 thoughts on “Checkmate”

  1. I hope it gets sorted for you but also I hope you enjoy the process of the game as well as losing. I had to learn to enjoy playing many games instead of winning as for some reason I seem to not inherently possess the skills to succeed at games and it takes me so much practice to get better at them!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I don’t mind losing at all. I used to be a sore loser as a kid (my child gets it meritoriously) but, it is more when I make a boneheaded move that drives me crazy. The kind of move where as soon as I take my finger off the piece I see that I shouldn’t have made the move and why, before the other player even moves their piece. The kind of move I smack myself on the forehead for. If the other person is better than me because they outwit me, no problem. I lose very graciously and know I need to work and think harder. But when I lose or dont even lose, but still make stupid moves that I shouldnt make, because I know better already, it drives me bonkers.

      Liked by 1 person

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