You never believe me…


We are really struggling with this one. Particularly point #5 at night when she is supposed to clean up after herself. Tonight’s excuse….she has a headache…and when questioned, she goes in to a tirade of how I never believe her….and there she sits, up in her room blowing away on her recorder….too much of a headache to clean up but perfectly fine enough to toot away on a recorder….RIGHT!!! But when pushed to complete those demands, the meltdowns and attitude that accompany are out of control. Some days are better than others. On those days she will concede no questions asked. Some days she will even dust things for me for no reason. But then there are days like today, where everything has been going well, attitude has been in check and to argue about this and end on a bad note just doesn’t seem worth it. It’s not slipshod parenting. It’s not the easy way out. It’s not letting her get her way, or teaching her she doesn’t have to clean up after herself. Parenting a child who has Asperger’s Autism, and then Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) on top of that is a total different strategy. She did end up coming down the stairs and I called her out on the fact that this was a perfect example of why I question her constant “reasons/excuses” on many nights for not cleaning up. Because her claim of having a headache, which I do believe, but that it’s obviously not bad enough for her to go right to sleep and that she can be up there playing her recorder and doing things she wants but that she uses things that may be real problems to get out of things she doesn’t want to do, though they aren’t bad enough to impair things she wants to do. It worked well that she came down in to my turf. If I would have gone up to confront her it probably wouldn’t have gone as well. But since she was down here, she conceded and “volunteered” to clean up. I called her out on it, didn’t tell her she had to, so it became her choice essentially. But I pointed out the flaw in her claims and turned her PDA strategies on it’s head. PDA parenting win tonight!!!



Author: Alice Funk Farie

Ecclectic Eccentric, Adoptee, Mom of a child with Aspergers Autism, Complex-PTSD from childhood trauma, Daughter of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Dependant Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression Warrior, Empath, Indigo Child, Musician, Educator, Wife of a Sociopathic Addict, Stepmom, Martial Artist, Artist, Philosophizer, Quote Collector, Survivor

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