My Immortal

220px-My_Immortal

 “My Immortal”
By: Evanescence

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me aloneThese wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
All of me… me… me…

Song Thoughts:
I’ve had this song running through my head since yesterday because it has the word “captivate” in it and yesterday’s word prompt of the day was captivating. This morning when I got in my car and put on my playlist, it was one of the first songs that came on. I have always been psychic, or an energy worker or a manifester of sorts….whatever you want to call this sort of “magic”. I also had a psychic moment again this morning where as I was walking in to school to teach, a wave came over me that told me that my first student would not be there today, and sure enough she wasn’t. She has not missed any lessons this year, and generally hasn’t missed many in the past from absences. My brainwaves are in tune with the universe right now.
This morning as I was listening to this song, it took on new meaning to me. My interpretation today in my life for this song is that “my immortal” is my inner child, the child in me that was broken so long ago. It made me reflect while listening to the lyrics that in some ways, even though I did experience my childhood in the moment with much anxiety and trauma, somehow as a child, it seemed like although I was greatly affected in the moment, I was able to let go mentally with much more ease, despite the fact that my personality was being shaped by the trauma. As an adult, I am now constantly spinning the childhood stories in my head and trying to get over the trauma now that I realize what it has done to me. I hope I can start to find that quality from childhood of mindfulness again and be able to silence the voices inside my head that are constantly reliving the past so that my inner child won’t have “all of me” until the day I expire…..
Advertisements

Author: Alice Funk Farie

Ecclectic Eccentric, Adoptee, Mom of a child with Aspergers Autism, Complex-PTSD from childhood trauma, Daughter of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Dependant Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression Warrior, Empath, Indigo Child, Musician, Educator, Wife of a Sociopathic Addict, Stepmom, Martial Artist, Artist, Philosophizer, Quote Collector, Survivor

4 thoughts on “My Immortal”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s