A World of Pure Imagination

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Come with me
And you’ll be
In a world of pure imagination

We’ll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we’ll see
Will defy
Explanation

-From Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

As an Adoptee, much of my life has been stuck in my imagination, and it began as early as I can remember. Where did I come from, what did my birth parents look like, was the story I was told really true, would they want to meet me if I wanted to contact them when I got older, what would life have been like if they or she would have kept me?

I never laid eyes on a face that looked like mine until I was 35 years old. It took me that long to decide to search h for my birth family. I spent 32 years (I was told at age 3) locked in my imagination. Not having this basic knowledge leaves one very susceptible to questioning oneself when challenged. If the roots are not deep enough, the tree will not be sturdy enough to withstand the elements.

So when I was faced with an adoptive father who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a mother who has something to the tune of Dissociative Disorder, I didn’t have any comparison, and so I thought that they were normal growing up and that any issues I was having were all a part of my over-active imagination. I didn’t realize until much later in life exactly how dysfunctional they were as people and how dysfunctional of a family I had growing up. That was my norm, but I was made to believe that I was the crazy one and that anything that I was having issues over with their behavior was just all imagined in my head. It took me many many years to decide and deconstruct everything inside the jail cell of my brain to figure out that I was the sane one sane one all along.

The unfortunate side effects of all of this are that I now question myself all the time with every perception that I have. I wonder whether it is something based in the real world or some fictitious made up story within my imagination. Living with and being controlled by a Narcissist will do that to you. I work each and every day to try and break this cycle within my psychology.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/imagination/

 

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Author: Alice Funk Farie

Ecclectic Eccentric, Adoptee, Mom of a child with Aspergers Autism, Complex-PTSD from childhood trauma, Daughter of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Dependant Personality Disorder, Anxiety and Depression Warrior, Empath, Indigo Child, Musician, Educator, Wife of a Sociopathic Addict, Stepmom, Martial Artist, Artist, Philosophizer, Quote Collector, Survivor

8 thoughts on “A World of Pure Imagination”

    1. I do know what is real. It is that I have several people in my.life that live in an altered reality yet are so good at their manipulation game that they can make me look like the crazy one to everyone else, which in turn causes me to question myself. I do a lot of psychology work, and unfortunately, I don’t think there is any specific method that could guarantee me a way to know for sure whether my perception of situations is the correct one or not, because I feel that select people in my life are constantly angling to mess with my head just to get their way and to get away with things. They think they are so slick and coy, yet I believe I see right through all of the games to the core of what is the real scheme. There are facts to back up everything I feel. It is just a matter of my level of distrust in people’s intentions and the masks they wear versus what they are really doing and thinking behind the scenes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bless your heart. You may find the prayer titled Painted Prayers on my blog. A very simple prayer that I committed to memory. I find comfort saying it and I hope it will do the same for you.

        Liked by 1 person

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