The ancient practice of adoption
Many religious sects promote it. It is viewed as a way to “make right” the so-called unlawful union between an unwed woman and man that resulted in the birth of a child. Adoption can help them “atone” their sins while giving a childless couple the chance to be parents, they are giving the most perfect gift. All is right in the world now….
Way wrong answer. And who didn’t get a say in all of this? The child. The child who was sacrificed for the sake of its birth parents mislabeled sins. The child who was sacrificed so that another couple who had to have something that they were not able to have on their own could live their perception of a perfect little life. The child who suffers a pre-verbal trauma that they cannot make sense of. The child who loses the right and connection to their own personal genetic history and those who are similar to them. The child who feels an innate sense of rejection. The child who often suffers an identity crisis when they don’t fit in with the adoptive parents.
Many adoptees have to bite their tongues growing up and are not allowed to ask many questions or inquire much about their own history, their own origins, their own people. Doing so jeopardizes the relationship with the adoptive parents since they often feel threatened and jealous of a bond that they can’t grasp. After all, why would their child want to meet someone who gave them up and whom they never met. They are the ones who are raising the child. They are the ones who paid lots of money to obtain that child in adoption and lawyer fees and they are the ones spending their money to raise that child and their hard work and effort, blood, sweat and tears to take care of that child. What a betrayal it would be for their child to want to seek out the birthparents. And many don’t hold back in telling the adoptees all of this from a very young age. Imagine the guilt placed on these young children to have to stifle their curiosity in order to spare their adoptive parents feelings. Isn’t it the child who is supposed to be protected and taken care of, not the other way around?
But the beautiful institution of adoption is recounted numerous times throughout the Bible all the way back to Moses in the basket. And we are all considered “Adopted” sons and daughters of God. Such and ancient practice can’t be all that bad can it? Or maybe the world has finally evolved enough that people are advocating for themselves and realizing the amount of mistreatment that is taking place. People are finally standing up for themselves. Just because it is accepted by the masses doesn’t make it right. Was slavery an acceptable practice just because it was a common practice?
Is it possible to eradicate adoption altogether? Probably not. It probably wouldn’t even be wise. But the ancient practices and methodology that is in play today MUST be re-examined for the benefit of the children who are caught in the crossfire and are not able to speak for themselves at the time they are placed in to the situation. Even the language used on stage websites still refer to adoptees and children born out of wedlock as illegitimate children. How demeaning of a term and how easily something so degrading can wear on a child’s and adults self esteem. It invalidates a person’s entire existence. As if we have no right to exist. As if we are less than. This ancient terminology MUST be changed and the adoption procedures are in desperate need of serious reform in more favor of the welfare of the adoptee/child. These ancient practices MUST be modernized and the world must be more educated to the damage that has been done to so many adoptees. We have finally been finding our voices. Please don’t dismiss any of us as just being bitter when someone tells their story that doesn’t fit the ancient feel good unicorns and rainbows version of adoption the world has always wanted to believe in. Stop and listen. Stop and consider others points of view. Stop and research. Please don’t write off our oppressed culture. We are the only group of individuals after all who are still denied the ancient birth rite of an original birth certificate. We are only allowed to have a legally falsified document stating that we were born to our adoptive parents. Some states are finally passing laws to change this. Please support your state or country if and when they try to pass this law to allow adoptees their original birth certificates. Any little bit that anyone can do to make a difference is helpful so that this oppression becomes ancient history…